January 2010
5 posts
Revenge
Joy: See? I haven't lost my touch.
Me: You've got the touch.
Joy: Don't
Me: YOU'VE GOT THE POWERRRRRRRRRR! YEAH!! *imitates guitar riff*
A lovely dinner
Me: You see Joy, a sixty-nine is when one man or woman lays like this...
*positions hand flat*
Me: annnnnnd the other man or woman lays like this...
*positions other hand flat in opposite direction*
Me: annnnnd then they do this...
*wriggles each middle finger towards other hand*
Me: to each other's genitalia
Joy: You need to stop that right now. People are trying to eat.
Me: *smiles*
I had it coming....
Me: Look, you have two options. One, you can shut your mouth. Two, you can keep your mouth open. Or, the third option, none of the above.
Joy: ........
Me: Looks like you chose option D. Tap out to the Steiner Recliner! *does push-ups*
Joy: Was that supposed to be a push-up?
Me: Shut up
Joy: Cause your arms didn't bend.
Me: Shuuuuut up
Joy: Was your pelvis touching the floor?
Me: SHUT. UP.
Joy: Are you familiar with a push-up?
Me: I'm Scott Steiner! You have to be familiar with push ups!!
Joy: You know, push-ups that aren't orange?
Me: ........
Happy MLK Day!
Joy: I need to be up by six AM.
Me: By any means necessary
Joy: NO! Why do you say that?
Me: *raises black power fist*
Funky Bunch?
Me: He’ll feel the vibration…. DON’T DO IT!
Joy: Feel it! Feel it! Feel the vibration!! IT’S SUCH A….. GOOD VIBRATIOOOOOON!!! IT’S SUCH A SWEEEEEEET TEMPTATIOOOOON!!!